Stitch Rabbit

The New Room.

I don't know what we were thinking. We got home from our holidays this weekend, unpacked our bags and started tearing the house apart. A fresh approach, a new look, more space - it was just time. My studio has officially been half-packed into boxes and taken downstairs. We spent a night painting the old room, building the AMAZING vintage teak beds I scored a few months back, and moved in the kids.

It's been six years of our family sharing one bedroom, in this house or others. Some people think we're crazy, to pile into one room like that - and I'll admit, it wasn't always easy. But I hold strong to my belief that having my kids in my bed and in beds close to ours has given them a very positive sleep experience their whole lives. As babies, the bond between a mother's body and their own is not broken at birth. It takes months and years to establish a trust in the dark, a safety in the night, and belief that Mommy and Daddy are always right there. Some kids get it sooner and some later. I think we've done a beautiful job at giving our kids the ability to sleep well.

And then it comes a time when their little bodies grow too big for a crowded bed and a crowded room and it becomes the time for them to claim their own space. We may be a little later in the game then most, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. This is a milestone in all of our lives, and I am proud and certain that my kids are insightful enough to say yes to their own independence.

So, without further ado, here is their new space. Taken with my Iphone, since my camera is somewhere in the depths of my next project... the studio. Sweet dreams little ones. We're just down the hall.

 

**PS - I am fully aware that by tomorrow morning, this entire room will be upside-down. At least I'll have the pictures to remember the clean beauty it was!!**

A New Year - Time.

Time. It's something we all wish for more of. Time to relax, time to work, time with the kids, time alone. We live in a world that is so saturated with the filler of schedules and chores and mile-long to do lists that it can be a struggle to just take time out to do what we really truly want. I struggle daily with the clock - there are never enough hours to get it all in. I go back and forth between having entirely too much to do, and not doing enough.

Gabe at Work (Adam Campbell Photo)

One thing that I really wish for, is to give Gabriel more time. He has been our bread winner, our provider, for all these years. He works so hard to keep us fed and warm, and to give us pretty much whatever our hearts desire. What he sacrifices though, is his own time. His ability to create and build is what keeps him working. He's extremely talented and I know, a very valued asset to his crew. I want more for him. I want him to be able to have the time to build and create for himself. To spend time in his shop with his ideas and the time to make them happen. His furniture is amazing, and he has a brilliant eye. Even with our support, I know he struggles with giving himself that time, because he values the time that he does get, to be with his family. When he's in his shop working on a project, and the sawdust is flying and the radio is on, I see Gabriel spending time exactly how he wants to. I'd like to see more of that this year.

Gabe at Work (Adam Campbell Photo)

I just got to spend three whole weeks with my family, away from the schedules and to do lists. It's what we all needed. When I get to spend time with my family it fills me up and charges me. Making the effort to make time for my family, as a unit is so valuable and keeps us close. When we get that time together, we can then go back into the world to do our own things, feeling loved and supported. I'm so grateful for my family, who allows me to have my own time, to be my own self and they lift me up.

 

A New Year - Son.

My son is on the upswing of two and he is fast approaching boyhood. Yesterday he picked up a toy drill and pointed at me and said "Freeze, Mommy". Oi. Being a household that takes precautions to avoid violence (no video games, very restricted television, no guns or war toys in the house) I was fairly surprised the moment it happened, and then really accepted that this was bound to happen. As anyone who knows a boy under the age of ten, it takes no more than a stick and a normal childhood imagination for a child to create an epic war scene in their own backyard with nothing more than their own two hands. So much for peace and solitude for the children of the world.

When Charlie held the toy to me and said "Freeze Mommy" what surprised me more than his action was my own. After the initial shock, I was internally shocked at myself at how easily and simply I said to myself; "He's a boy! Oh those boys." I mean, REALLY?? Because, if my daughter had done that at the age of two, I can tell you - there would've been some serious conversation. Even though I try very hard to squash the borders of gender-biased ideals within my own family, I too play can play the part in pigeon-holing my own children into roles that we as a society believe to be true. Is it okay for my son to pretend to hold a gun and say "Freeze", but not okay for my daughter?

Now I'm not so strict that I would refuse either of my kids to act out some fighting/war/dying scenarios. Let's face it, it's going to happen. I think it's part of healthy curious play. I'm uncomfortable with toy weapons and violent tv, and that's my choice as a parent to make that decision for our own family. What I think I've learned from my son is that I need to really take a look at how I'm perceiving anyone should act, based solely and primarily on their gender. As I grow alongside my son, I want to give him the space and the freedom to be whomever he desires, but not what society is expecting. I want my son to grow up to be the same sensitive, loving, nurturing and warm-hearted child that my daughter is, and I don't want to deny him those opportunities because, well.. "He's just a boy."

Charlie is our impish little boy who makes us laugh and loves to snuggle. As he runs full-tilt into childhood I am excited at the possibilities that lie ahead for him. I can't wait to see what this year brings for my little boy. As I learned from our first, these years fly by so fast and I want to give him everything I've got. I am blessed to have this little boy who mashes his face into my shirt and clings to me and looks up and smiles and says Mama.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A New Year - Daughter.

If there is one thing that rocks me to the core, it is that this is all going entirely too fast. Their feet stretch and limbs stretch and their faces change every day. Firsts become oblivious and we watch them grow more and more... afraid to blink for the time might pass too quickly.

My baby girl has gone to school this year. She's never been away from me before, and I'm not sure who had a harder time adjusting, me or her. My daughter is incredibly smart and wildly social and immensely sensitive. I am so scared to lose her to the world. Some days I think I already have. She's so inquisitive and curious and hungry. I find myself changing with her - trying to keep up with what she needs at each moment from me. I am sometimes her friend, sometimes her adviser, sometimes her teacher and sometimes her listener. I am sometimes her map and compass. I am sometimes completely quiet. In the background, silently watching and cheering and ready for her to succeed and ready for her if she doesn't.

As she makes her way into her sixth year, I am finding myself at the gates of girlhood. A time when she begins to really voice her own opinions and show her own interests and we go back and forth between letting her take the lead and reining her in again. A time when a mother (or father) is precariously perched on the brink of childhood innocence, and wondering how exactly do we preserve it for as long as we possibly can. I only know one answer. We do our damnedest.

 

A New Year.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Mark Twain

 

I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions. I don't believe in promising myself I will do things - you never know where the wind will take you in a year. What I do like to do each year, like many, is reflect on the year that's passed, and look towards the future with hopes and dreams. The above quote says it all for me this year. I've spent a lot of this last year waiting and planning for the moment - any moment, that felt like the right time to make a move. In our own little family we've had a fantastic year of accomplishments, yet I'm frustrated that we are still where we are. We've dreamed some pretty big dreams about our next steps in life, what we want next, where we want to be... but it hasn't appeared in any form that I can touch, that I can act on. It's frustrating for me because I've always been a pretty impulsive person, especially when it comes to picking up and moving on to something new. It seems that since having my kids, I've become a lot more cautious, and perhaps a bit apprehensive of too much change. I don't want to act on impulse, but I am searching for an answer, because my bones have gotten restless and my soul needs something different.

This trip that we have taken is also a turning point for us as a family. After a year (okay, after YEARS) of noses to the grindstone we were all more than exhausted.. Between Gabriel's non-stop jobs, my store, school and other work on the side, we just weren't stopping. This trip was a chance for us to put on the brakes, slow down and look up - look around - BE with each other without the emphasis on work in any form. Without our hands busy, who are we? Without all that I do, who am I?

So, for the next seven days, I'm going to write it out. I'm going to write about what I want and what I need this year, underneath all the extra work. The things I miss, the things I crave, the things that just wont burn out. These are my answers I think. What makes me happy? What makes my family work? What makes my heart soar?

I think when I can answer those things, I believe it will be time for us too, to sail from the harbour and set free to the wind. In whatever form that is.

 To all of you, lovely family and friends and readers... I wish you a year that is new and fresh with possibility. I wish you too find all the dreams in your heart, the desire to make them real and the love that can make it work. 

xo stitch rabbit

I've been waiting for this moment. There is nothing like watching your daughter experience the freedom in wide open spaces and the possibilities held in the sea.

Bright Days , Bright Nights.

Sometimes you have to leave where you are and what you're doing and go searching. Searching for the "more" you want in life. This trip is that for us. A time to leave the work that busies out hands and spend time together with our heads up and our eyes focused on each other. It's the only way we're going to find it. The answers to the next great adventures in our lives. I'm not sure what we're looking for, but we're on our way.

I'm Here, Underneath It All.

Tonight is our Canadian Christmas Eve... I'm packing my little family up and heading South this Sunday for a long-anticipated and much needed holiday. In just a few short hours our house will be filled with the ones we love, and we'll toast, albeit early, to a happy holiday, a very Merry Christmas and a fulfilling New Year.

And then we're getting the f*** out of here.

I've been holed up in my studio the past few weeks, surrounded by yarn and needles and thread, card stock and butcher's paper. Because Christmas is coming early for us up here, everything got really hectic really fast. When you shave a week off your normal December countdown to the holidays, the bustle of the holidays become oh so "bustlier"!

Since we're going away for the holidays this year we decided not to get a tree. And then we did anyways. And then the rest of the decorations came out and before I knew it we were hosting early Christmas dinner for our families, the advent calendar got filled to the 17th and I was on the hunt for stocking stuffers. So much for ducking out early. I just can't help myself around this time of year. I didn't get as much winter crafting done this year as I like, but I have been filing away the beauties I've found on the web for next year.

The shop kept me super busy this month. I'm completely blown away by the support and enthusiasm I've received as the orders piled in! Between custom orders, cowls for craft shows and The Window the sticks weren't empty for more than a few minutes. I'm happy to say I've completed all my Christmas orders, and have set the sticks down for a few weeks. Well, those ones anyways, I've got some personal projects still on the go. And so it goes.

Anyways... I should probably go and get my Christmas on... I hope you all have a lovely night!

 

xo stitch

Love Letters.

"to mom and dad , frankie"

 

 

"frake   i luv you bekus we r a famle. luv frankie."

 

 

And then I started bawling. Sheesh.

Beautiful Milestones

My daughter has always been the kind of kid who wasn't about to do something she wasn't ready for. She's a quick learner, a bold beginner, but if it isn't the time, it isn't the time. So life goes on.

So when she nonchalantly asked me to take her training wheels off her bike the other day, I was surprised. When we first got her bike, we tried on numerous occasions to take off the training wheels but she would flat out refuse. "I LIKE my training wheels Mama" she'd say, and just to bring her point home, "I want to have my training wheels on ALWAYS, even when I'm big like you."

Okay... so we left it. Until the other day. So I went rifling through the shop till I found a wrench, and we sat on the grass while I pried the rusty bolts off her back wheels. She grabbed her helmet and we went out into the back alley to give it a try.

I have to stop here and remark at how powerful and willing a child's brain is to learn something new. It amazes me time and again with both of my children how quickly and eagerly they grasp onto a new concept. Childhood is truly the only time you will boldly try anything, not weighing the options, not fearful of defeat; simply passionate about learning and mastering a new skill, putting it in the bank, and coming back for more.

What a beautiful thing, to learn so fiercely and fearlessly.

 

With only a few short stops and some wobbling, I suddenly found myself walking, then running behind my daughter, my fingers barely grasping the back of her seat as she pedaled her little legs... and then I let go. She was practically screaming with pride and excitement as she pedaled down the pavement "I'm doing it! I'm doing it Mommy!" I ran after her, laughing and crying like an idiot, echoing her words "You're doing it! You're doing it!" Instantly, it was a moment engraved forever on my heart.

And that was it. She had mastered a milestone in only a few short moments. Suddenly she could be faster then me, freer then me, and I had taught her to do that. To let the wind take her hair. All it took was to trust in her that she would do it when she was ready. And then she would fly like a bird.

Only a few days later and she's brilliant. Scraped knees and all.

From My Side of The Lense

The thing about being the one taking the photos in the family is that there aren't a lot of you. Personally, I'm pretty okay with that because it takes a minute to get me on my good side. I don't always come out looking so cute.

But here are a few shots of what I would call "behind the scenes". It's not just those two cute kids out in the world - I'm there too! (Good luck trying to get Gabe AND Me in a photo with them.)

I really treasure these photos because they can be few and far between. It makes me stop and realize,

"Oh yeah, I am experiencing that life too. Not just mothering it."

It gives me a peek into what it looks like to be the mother to those babies of mine.

I look at these pictures and I think it's looking like I'm doing alright. I got this.

 

 

 

My Baby Boy.

"I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love."

-bob dylan

My baby boy turns two tomorrow.

Today I wish he wouldn't change one bit, not grow another inch, not say another word. I wish he would always use that voice, the way he says "Peas" instead of "Please". Always nod and look at me with those great big eyes and solemnly whisper "Kay" when I've told him not to do something he shouldn't. I wish he would always think his big sister was the most super incredible kid who can do anything in the world. Always, always hug the way he does, when it lasts forever. I wish he would always snuggle up to me at bedtime and slowly run his hands up and down my arm till he falls asleep. I wish he would keep that laugh, that hilarious giggle, and always play that game he plays when he's the Char-Monster.

Oh they grow, and grow. And their mothers are always in two places, desperately trying to hold on forever and forever pushing them forward, into their future.

Happy Birthday baby boy. Your Mommy and Daddy love you so, so much.

 

A Lesson in Healing.

I'm not very good at this. At this sitting around, waiting to get better. This past week I've been nursing my poor aching back, and learning some pretty big lessons along the way.

When Mama can't get up to do anything, a lot of things change around a household. I was lucky enough to have Gabriel home with me the entire week - an unheard-of week off in the middle of the summer. Without him, I would've had to call in the troops - the grandmas, the aunts, the cousins and friends. They would've been knocking down my door -  but I'm not that kind of girl. I'm not good at asking for help, and I think I would've graciously accepted the help for a day - maybe two, and then spent the rest of the week hobbling around here like I could do it all, inevitably putting the healing back all that much further.

So I was lucky, to have Gabe here to take charge of the house and the children and the cooking and the laundry and the yardwork and the groceries and all the things that make us go 'round and 'round and 'round.

I'm not so sure he felt as lucky to be at my beck and call.

I spent the first few days in a coma, so I think it was nice....it felt nice, to me. I was sleeping. But by the third day I was up and hobbling and anxious to get back at things and (ahem) possibly slightly grumpy. I started pointed out things... little things that my sweeping eyes were seeing - like roaring red flares of "that's not how I do it!!" - and it was killing me inside. I tried so hard to bite my tongue because really, REALLY - it doesn't matter how he folds the towels or if the hallway hasn't been swept and there's grass in the kitchen or if he mowed the lawn first and weed wacked after. That's my own weird shit - my MEGA weird shit and I have to let go.Yeah, I know - the towel thing especially. But there is a certain way to do it to make them look especially nice and fluffy.

But no, I let it out. And the poor guy, who had been running around with a SUPER DAD cape on, making great dinners, playing with the kids, doing laundry and cleaning up shit and HAVING FUN THE WHOLE TIME.......Well.  He gave me that look he saves especially for those times when I'm making an ass of myself, turned around and kept on being awesome.

I felt like an idiot.

I mumbled some "I'm sorry's" and loudly stated more than enough times for the rest of the day that these pill were "making me wacky....haha..."

 

By Day Four I had repented, and I was forgiven. I even brushed my hair and put on my sexiest pair of pyjamas. I was really, really sorry.

So now, here we are at Day Six or Seven, I don't even know anymore. But what I DO know is that I am up and healing and happy for all kinds of reasons. Happy that I listened to my husband and my mother and didn't do anything at all for almost an entire week. Because of those two smarty-pants, I'm up and walking and not right back where I started.

I'm happy that my kids had an awesome week with their Dad and even though they had dirty faces all day long and I'm pretty certain that tonight was the first time they had their hair washed all week, they are fed and tanned and glad they've got that guy for their Dad.

I'm happy that I've had the time to sit and lay and breathe and contemplate what I'm going to do as soon as I can stand up and do it. It's going to get real crazy up in here. With the knitting. And the sewing. Watch out. Dangerous.

I'm happy that I had the absolute honour of witnessing the beautiful unity of my family, the wordless way they all helped each other and helped their Mum too. I'm so proud that my family can do it all without me. Who was I kidding? Of course they can. They just need to learn how to fold a towel.

 

 

 

While We Were Away

We've been away. I packed the kids, the trailer and the van late last week and took us all to one of my favorite places in the world. It was what I needed. After weeks and weeks of summer-hectic I needed a cool-down from the daily grind here at home.

We spent a couple of cozy days and nights in and around, by the fire, and with family. I got some really good down-time with my kids, without the call of the laundry, the yard work, the dirty floors. Coming home I feel refreshed and ready, and closer to my kids. Here are a few shots from our weekend.

 

 

If you've never been to Yale, British Columbia, you should. It's an amazing little town filled with gold rush history, mountain scenery and of course the beautiful Fraser Canyon. I spent many a summer there, at Fraser River Raft Expeditions, Gabriel and I got married there, and our daughter is named after an enormous rock in the river, named Lady Franklin. Now if only I could convince my husband to move to a town of two hundred...

http://historicyale.ca/

http://www.fraserraft.com/

http://www.teaguehouse.com/