Oh my Gosh... hello. It's been a long, long time since I've banged out some words on this keyboard, and I'm telling you.... I certainly have had a lot to say. I'm picking up from last June... when my daughter finished Kindergarden and I cried in the hall like a baby, and a lot more has happened since then. To tell you the truth, it feels like that was years ago.
So, without really meaning to, I took the summer off from Stitch Rabbit. I came to the keyboard more than a few times... intent on letting you know how I was, what I was up to... but when it came down to it, I just didn't know what to say. I kind of lost my words. Part of me had way too much to try and tell you and part of me was.. well, sick of hearing my own voice. I don't know how many bloggers are out there reading this... but I'm sure you've had those moments in your blogging life where you've really questioned your content.. and being that your content is primarily yourself, your mind, your soul... you really end up questioning yourself. That's a hard thing to look at somethimes.
One very small but very profound deterrent, and also somewhat of an epiphany began with the unfortunate incident of me spilling a glass of red wine across this very keyboard. The spill affected almost nothing except for one thing. I ended up losing my question mark. I essentially ended up losing the ability to ask a question. Deep right (question mark)
But it came at a very opportune time because... I've had a lot of questions that I've had to answer these last few months, about myself, about my values, my boundaries, my goals. And I really needed to take that inventory on the inside, rather than bang it out here, for all to read. I think it's important that we all take private inventory of where we are... and how to meet ourselves wherever that place is. Sometimes you just have to stop talking and listen to what your heart is trying to say.
So... a few months of pretty deep, heavy introspective consideration... a summer of questions, a summer of NOT always finding the right answers.. has led me to a place of acceptance. And it's also led me back here. Because, as I asked myself, what is my point here, what am I trying to get across... I think I have come to discover the answer is authenticity. No matter where I am in my life, I can only and I want to always be me. And if that means a few months of silence, so be it. If that means not picking up a pair of sticks till September 1st, so what (question mark) If that means resting my fingers on the keyboard and not typing a thing till I'm sure I'm ready.. well, I guess that's why I'm here tonight. Because the answer to most everything I've been asking myself... is to be authentic, sure and true.
So, it is with deep gratitude that I thank you for reading, for checking in, and for staying close.. I truly appreciate the ears and the eyes out there that have read this blog and watched this perfectly imperfect human being fly and fall and make her way through this oh-so complicated and beautiful life. I am so very happy to be back.
